DARK NIGHTS OF THE SOUL - A Guide to finding your way through life's ordeals
by THOMAS MOORE (Bestselling author of CARE OF THE SOUL).

Excerpt from Chapter six ... .. . . . . LOVESICKNESS.


Anyone who has been through a divorce, lived with a jealous lover, or suffered domestic abuse knows that one of the primary sources of a dark night is love. Love may begin in darkness, as in the image of Cupid blindfolded, when he shoots his flaming arrow. You are suddenly taken by another person and possessed by passion.Then come periods of confusion, longing, and perhaps, thoughts of ending. What begins full of hope and promise turns into serious questioning and emotional ambivalence. While a lover may interpret these ups and downs as a personal in making a commitment, it might be more accurate to understand that love itself i inconsistent and has a kind of inherent hysteria.

People in love may be threatened or possesed by jealousy, find themselves the the victim of another's need to control, get stuck in a cold and maybe abusive relationship, or maybe fall into an impasse in which their love gets nowhere. They may feel they are with the wrong person, at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and for the wrong reasons. Frequently love doesn't work out or it gets stale. People dream of passionate love, thrilling sex, and a tranquil life, but their often turns into a nightmare.

The ancient Greek poet Sappho, one of the great poets of all time, was the first to call love bittersweet, though she reversed the words to sweetbitter. The philosopher and poet Anne Carson says this is because love is usually sweet at first then turns bitter. My impression is that love alternates between bitter and sweet or is perpetually bittersweet. People often talk about love's sweetness and keeps its bitterness private.

Love is also a kind of madness. It seals you in a bubble of fantasy where emotions are intense. You feel unbalanced. You do silly things. Your sense of responsobility disappears. You are deaf to the reasonable advice of friends and family. In your delerium you may get married or pregnant. Then you spend years in the aftermath trying to make a reasonable life. At any point you may fall into a dark night of the soul created by the profound unsettling that love leaves in its wake.

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